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A Eulogy for Our Anabelle
Her Royal Highness Anabelle Lee Shih Tzu
Born ? in a puppy mill
Left us for the Arms of the Goddess on 12/14/07
I have always said that Gypsy Silver was my "late-life baby."
That was before I met a 9 lb, soaking wet, totally shaven (except for
her ears and her tail floof), shaking, crying and scared to death
run-away, in a huge dog run between two Rottweilers in the Fairfax
County Animal Shelter.
I was looking for a walking dog. I had lost my Lucy Joe
Cocker the year before and frequently haunted the Shelter - NOT a
"no-kill" shelter, BTW - giving treats to every dog there, always
looking for my next walking companion. I'm not very big - 5'3" -
maybe 100 lbs on a good day, but I'm the Alpha Bit - Dog in my house,
always. I wanted a dog that needed a home, but that I could
control until we trusted each other. The truth was, I thought
this little "thing" in the run was a rat, and told the volunteer.
She showed me the card that said, "Shih Tzu - Runaway," meaning that
this peanut somehow escaped from her first 7 years as a breeder in an
illegal puppy mill that had been her whole life. That took grit
and as scared as she was, I recognized grit. She wasn't available
for adoption for another week, just in case her "family" came to get
her. I visited her every day, and by the third day was lying on
my belly on the floor of the dog run room, with my hands outstretched
under the bars of her cage. I found out why she was wet.
She was so scared that every day she tipped over a water bowl bigger
than she was, under which she could hide and feel safe.
On that third day, after 1/2 hour on my belly, she crawled over to me,
crawled slooooowly into my two hands, curled up into herself, tail
tucked in, and fell fast asleep, crying softly, "hoo hoo. hoo
hoo."
I found my dog.
The day I introduced my husband and kids to the peanut, they weren't
very impressed. There were other, younger pure-breds up for
adoption. Sure, and they'd be adopted too. But this little
dog who was malnourished had nothing, not even a shred of a blanket for
comfort, and I knew I was hers.
That afternoon, before the Shelter closed for the 4th of July holiday
weekend - a 5 day span, I was home, worried about how she'd fare
because her "family" still hadn't come. And then I got a
call. If I wanted this dog, I had to be there in 20 minutes,
before they closed. I said I would and to wait for me. Got
my purse, my ID and my checkbook and went to get in my van. No
van. My husband had taken it to the garage that morning, and had
left to do errands. No kids home either. And this is why I
believe - because I grabbed my purse and started down the street,
knowing that "someone"
would get me there in time. I'd made it past 3 houses with nobody
home, when I looked up and saw my husband, about to come down our
driveway. I jumped in his van, and told him to step on it - WE
were bringing our girl home. He wasn't convinced she was ours,
but he broke every speed limit and we were late - but they held the
Shelter open for me.
It seems that my girl's "family" had come to claim her and at that
moment, in walked the Canine Patrol Officers, who recognized these
people as having complaints against them for "illegal breeding."
They quickly gave up all rights to the pure blooded Shih Tzu and
ran. My name was the only one on her list of "Call IF......"
I paid whatever it cost to get her out and grabbed that dog from the
Shelter Volunteer, promising to have her spayed and seen by a vet ASAP.
We had her for the holiday weekend, all 5 lovely days of a bath, lots
of holding, listening to her vocalize, seeming to tell us her story,
over and over, and realizing that she had been kept in a cage like a
hamster most of her life. She didn't know how to drink
water from a bowl or eat from a dish.
I was back on my belly again. Thank the Goddess that she was a
fast learner.
Shih Tzus are non-allergic, non-shedding dogs. They
consider every situation before responding. In 7 years, I never
did teach her to come. She did if she wanted to, or if I had a
treat that she particularly liked, but she was fussy about her food and
not many treats could coax her.
Anabelle Lee was my late-life bonus baby.
She was my constant companion, even though she wasn't a "walking
dog." Her feet were only 1/2 inch long and she got cold
easily. She loved warm sweaters and hated her winter boots.
But she hated having her feet washed even more, so she tolerated even
the things that scared her most - the sound of scissors. I did
her grooming, her baths, fed her by hand, cooked her breakfast and
dinner (as did my husband), even when I didn't cook ours.
She was a love-sponge. She would snuggle and cuddle and talk to
me (yes, she talked and I will never say "coincidence") when she needed
loving and when she had absorbed enough, she'd find a warm sunny spot
and go to sleep.
Her decline during the last year started slow, even though all her
tests came back perfect. She kept her strength and lost her
little mind, exacerbated by a dose of the wrong drug, given by her
vet. Instead of a mild valium for a 14 lb dog, she got morphine,
for a 90 lb Labrador. She slept for 3 days and came out of it a
different dog. Still our love sponge, never demanding anything
except to be next to me. But just before Winter Solstice,
Anabelle just wasn't home anymore. Her eyes were blank and she
was sleeping 22 hours a day, and crying in her sleep. Hoo
hoo. Hoo hoo.
We told the vet, who told us that it was time. I wanted to send
her Home on Solstice Eve, but Anabelle couldn't wait.
We brought her into the vet's office (I don't have much good to say
about how any of this was handled so I'm not naming names, unless you
live here and you ask me), having gone through our own ritual, giving
her back to the Goddess and specifically to Diana, to whom Anabelle was
dedicated on her first Full Moon with us, and to Hecaté, who
stands guard at the Crossroads, with Her hounds, for a safe and easy
crossing. We smudged her, and blessed her with Ocean Water, and
told her, as she sat on our laps, that she would be going Home the next
day. I think she understood.
The day she left us, it was early morning. We gave her sugar to
eat, so that she would meet the Goddess with a sweet taste in her mouth.
We held her and sang to her, both Goddess chants and a Hindu chant, the
"SatSiri" - a lullabye that she loved.
I felt her leave me, lying in my arms. Her little spirit gave an
"Arp," and she was gone. I put a tiny silver pentagram in her
mouth, to bind her to the elemements and eventually, we left her, lying
in her favorite shawl.
Two weeks later we were given her ashes. So much for such a small
dog! My husband and I waited until dusk and just as the sun went
down, on a cold and wintry evening, we took handsful of what was
Anabelle and tossed it into the wind, letting the wind take the rest of
her Home.
I have a hole in my heart so big that you can drive a truck through
it. So does my husband. But how can you let someone you've
loved so hard for so long, who came into your life at just the right
time, go, without remembering that someone's life?
She was our dog but she was so much more.
If you have ever owned or lost a dog, you understand and I don't have
to say another word.
We'll get another dog someday. Maybe even another Shih Tzu.
Maybe it will even be Anabelle, again.
But not for a very long time.
She was our precious treasure and we miss her every minute of every day.
I hope she is curled up in the Goddess's Arms right now, content after
a good belly-rub and a better meal, snoring away.
Goddess Bless you, Anabelle.
You guard the house until we get Home!
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